Practicing what I preach

It was time for a change. I have been working as a Coordinator of Curriculum, Instruction and Assessment for five years and, in that time, have become comfortable with the many facets of my role (staff developer, instructional leader, learning supports designer, cheerleader, professional listener, evangelist, everything-related-to-learning coordinator). Nevertheless, as a collective leadership team, we knew it was time for a change and now, as the wheels begin to turn on this “restructuring,” I find myself needing to reflect on what this has meant for me already and what it will mean as we continue to walk in this new direction.

As I have articulated in many past posts, we have been working for five years on developing and supporting a common understanding and language around learning as it relates to renewed curricula, shifting assessment practices, responsive instructional design, planning using UbD and formal, data-focused reflection. The professional development we have undertaken with all staff in our division is immense. But, as we move into our sixth year and also, as we move into a new provincial sector plan, we began to see that it might be time to move from whole-group instruction (so-to-speak) to targeted supports. For this reason, I am shifting from working with 21 schools to working in one of three pods, with a much more focused seven schools. My fellow coordinator of early learning and my new coordinator colleague in student support services will also have pods and, along with our two superintendents, we will share understanding, assess needs and construct supports and responses for our schools, based on information we glean from a wide variety of sources.

So what does this mean for me, personally (I ask myself)? Well, I will need to learn a lot! I will have to build a greater understanding of both the early learning and support services portfolios. We will continue to have our specializations but we will also need to share understanding across all areas in order to work with our assigned schools. I was well on my way in understanding the connections between our work but had done so with broad brush strokes. I will now need to examine the finer details. In fact, my title is changing to Coordinator of Learning (which I share with my other coordinator colleagues).

I am also now working with staff through professional growth plans, observations and conversations. This is an expanded role. I have always worked with our support personnel within a leadership team, but again, next year will require a much more intensive relationship as I work with them to specifically develop their professional growth plans and support them in their important work.

I will be much more immersed in my assigned schools. This year, I worked very hard to visit all 21 schools as often as I could, but found myself spread too thin and my supports were often not as robust as I would have liked. The focus to seven schools will change my work significantly. Couple this with a shift to far less whole group professional development, and I will be able to work alongside others in a more meaningful and targeted way. My assigned schools are at least an hour away, so this will also mean more travel. In fact, my pod team will be located in a town an hour from my office.

This is just a lightly painted picture of, what I think, are significant changes to my work. So, how am I feeling about this change? Well, I believe I am feeling much the same way others feel when changes occur in their work – excited, nervous, scared, unsure, motivated, curious. I am very used to defining my own job. Sharing my job description with two other people is new to me – the last time I shared the same role as others was when I was a classroom teacher. Co-constructing a role will be interesting. I am also very accustomed to being confident in most aspects of my work. At the moment, I am confident I can do good things but less-confident in all aspects of understanding that this new role will require. This is very good for me but it has been a while since I have not felt sure of how things would “roll out.” I am committed to being the best leader I can be for my pod team but I know I have to spend much time listening and learning as part of that leadership. I will have to become more comfortable in saying “I am not sure” and “let’s try this and see what happens.” I am excited about spending more time talking about specific students and their learning. I am equally as excited to engage in my own learning, which is already happening. I think this new understanding will only make me and the work I do better.

Change is scary and exciting all wrapped up in one package. I am no stranger to change but this one feels new to me. I have learned that the more new something feels, the more opportunity it provides me to grow and adapt and become better at what I do. I look forward to travelling a new path.

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Thoughts on “Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead”

I consider myself a leader. I understand that my role as a Coordinator makes that the case, but being a leader, for me,  comes down to much more than a job title. I remember the exact time I decided to embrace my “need to lead” and it was a difficult decision. I had been asked to consider a Vice Principalship at a middle and secondary school. As had occurred in the past, I felt tangible excitement at the idea, but I had, until that point, supressed the excitement in order to work part time and maintain my perceived formula for work-family balance. Whenever I considered leadership, I recognized that it would require a commitment of both time and energy and I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough of either. I had two children, a marriage and a home to devote time and energy to and I worried that I would be doing an ‘unmotherly’ or ‘uncaring’ thing by deciding to explore the idea of leadership in my career. In the end, though, I took the leap and accepted the position and I haven’t looked back. However, making the decision, didn’t make things easier. As I have explored leadership as a Differentiated Instruction Facilitator, a Vice Principal, a Principal and now a Coordinator, I have had few women to look to for guidance and support (but the ones I did find are simply gems). Education is filled with women but, where I work, far fewer women can be found in leadership roles.

Last week, I read Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg. I had listened to and enjoyed her TedTalk and was hoping for some more insight into women and leadership and why it seems to be so hard sometimes. She delivered on insight and, in many ways, it was a real relief to read about my own personal struggles with leadership in such a large scale place like this book. It helped me to recognize the challenges that women face in reaching and sustaining leadership roles in the workplace. One of the most interesting aspects of these challenges is that more than a few of them come from inside women, themselves. I recognize my own hestitancy to lean in at times and this book helped to clarify why this is so.

Here are some of the points from the book that resonated for me:

  • It is normal to feel conflicted about leaning in to work because society places a great deal of emphasis on the role of women to “manage” the home. This is unfair to both women and men, since there is nothing wrong (in fact, it is essential for women who choose to work full time) with sharing responsibilities at home or even (can you imagine?) inviting men to shoulder more than half of the load, if they choose.
  • In the years when we are building our families, women often lean back, when they could lean in. In fact, Sheryl contends that it is better to strive for and obtain positions that are challenging and fulfilling at work because those are the roles that keep us in the workplace. Women sell themselves short by not engaing in jobs that are challenging and fulfilling, which can often lead to further reduction in work time, in order to search for fulfillment in other ways.
  • Women are perceived by both men and other women in a more negative light when they express leadership qualities (strength, ambition, decisiveness). Men are valued for the same qualities that women are criticized for and this makes leadership difficult sometimes. Women, above all, should be nurturing and so when they decide to work full time and lead as part of this work, this is percevied as undesireable.
  • Men mentor men. Women have greater difficulty finding mentors because there are fewer women in leadership roles. This perpetuates the cycle because without mentors and sponsors, it is challenging for women to advance within their organization. There are also perceived complications with men mentoring women, that we have to “get over” in order to solve this dilemma.
  • We cannot do it all. We just can’t. Media perpetuates a myth that leads to feelings of failure for women and men. I struggle with this every single day and, while I know my hope for doing it all is not realistic, I continue to buy in to the myth that if I just work hard enough and manage my time well enough, I can be the perfect wife, mother, worker, housecleaner, cook, volunteer…well, you see what I mean.
  • Life on the home front has to be 50-50 if both partners work full time. I have a fantastic partner and this has been demonstrated time and again. I, personally, could not do what I do without the partner I have. Period. And I more than acknowledge how challenging things must be for single parents.
  • We have to start talking about gender again. I don’t know how and, while Sheryl gives some suggestions, I have to think about this a great deal more. This book applies to me but it is written for millions of women (and men!) Each of us has to figure out what we want and how we will navigate the waters of our own oceans. But it cannot be denied that women are not yet represented enough in leadership roles and, both Sheryl and I would contend, that the world would be better off if this were to happen.

Hello world!

Well, I guess it is time to give this a whirl. I have so much thinking and conversation I want to engage in and I just can’t do it all through Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook or email. I need a place to dump out my thoughts to see how they look. And I want this to be a shared experience. So here I am.

Right now, I am not sure where this blog will travel but I am pretty sure it will spend a fair bit of time in Educationland and it will definitely linger in Artville and Leadership City. I can’t be sure what other sites I will visit, but, as we know, the journey is really the destination. So, let’s get started!